Gai's Ultimate Victory
by Chopstickman
Summary: Kakashi and Gai have been competing for years; although Kakashi never really took it seriously. Until Gai did something Kakashi could never beat.


Kakashi slammed back another shot. He couldn't believe it. Gai had topped him; not by a little, oh no this was something the cyclopean shinobi could never beat. He turned to look out the window of his apartment. The sun was still up, blazing. A glance at his clock told him it wasn't even past one. Kakashi started to pour himself a new glass then contemplated his cup.

"Oh f**k it"

Throwing the glass to the side he upended the bottle into his mouth.

aaaaaaa

Earlier that day Kakashi had been walking along, reading his favorite series. He still had an hour or two remaining before meeting his team for their final genin test. This batch didn't seem to be any better than the previous ones, but miracles do happen. Speaking of, it seemed his self proclaimed 'eternal rival' was walking hand in hand with a girl. Kakashi almost fell face first into the ground but caught himself. He then stealthily followed what looked like for all the world a couple.

'_But that's crazy, Gai is well… himself but she's… young, hot, clamped onto his arm, in spandex… wait a minute. Relative perhaps? I don't recall Gai mentioning any. This bears investigation'_

Steeling his resolve Kakashi whipped out his little book and casually strolled past them.

"Ho! If it is not my Eternal Rival, Kakashi! I would like to introduce someone to you"

"It wouldn't happen to be your pretty little companion would it?"

"Astute as ever I see! Yes, this is Maito Allenby"

"Oh, a relative?"

The blue haired girl giggled as Gai let out a hearty laugh. Kakashi chuckled along nervously, not getting the joke.

"No silly; I'm his wife!"

Kakashi felt his soul leave his body.

"Oh. How. Nice. Sorry. I. Must. Go. Now."

Kakashi woodenly walked away as the married pair returned to their meanderings. Thus leading to the present situation.

aaaaaaaaa

Naruto yawned, having woken up from a nap. He saw that Sasuke was still up, but Sakura had already succumbed to the lure of sleep.

"So if the stars come out and he still isn't here, do we pass by default?"

Naruto wasn't sure but he thought he heard a growl coming from the Uchiha's direction.

aaaaaaaaaa

Hey there! I'm sure you all are wondering about what's going on. Well Maito Allenby is here to let you know! I'm actually not from around here… my maiden name is Beardsley Allenby and I'm from Neo Sweden. Which is kinda not even on this planet. Heh heh. Well anyway however I ended up here it's not so bad. Even without my Nobel Gundam or my friends. I set my own curfews, do what I want when I want and there are no fuddy-duddy scientists cramping my style. I still do really miss them. And the 14th Gundam fight; it started just before I got sent here. But that changed when I met Gai. I was minding my own business one day and got into a fight with some unsavory looking characters. Next thing I knew I was a bodyguard. As it turns out the old man that hired me was a real crook, and someone hired a shinobi team to take him out. I defended the old man from one of the shinobi then Gai showed up. Now back where I came from I was able to go toe-to-toe with the King of Hearts himself; the number one strongest guy around. But Gai matched me blow for blow and eventually won. He then showed me what kind of person I was working for, and I helped take him down. But I was stuck with no job again, and Gai told me to follow him back to Konoha. I was skeptical, understandably. He then went off on a speech about how we could train together and 'indulge in the fullness of youth'. He's such a funny guy. He's no Domon, but he wasn't all that bad so I gave him a chance. And now we're married. Crazy huh?

aaaaaaaaaa

The next day Allenby stopped by a tea shop for some tea and sweets. Some other women were there and greeted the newlywed.

"Hello. You certainly are a brave woman, aren't you?"

"I don't think 'brave' covers it"

"Is he romantic?"

"Or do you just beat each other up all the time?"

"So how is he in bed?"

All eyes snap to the wife of Inochi. She looks about confused.

"What? It's a fair question!"

Allenby laughed and sat down. Yoshino cleared her throat.

"So tell us. You like being a newlywed? You and your husband didn't have much fanfare associated with your marriage"

"Yeah. Things like that aren't really my style, so we didn't do much. It's fun being a bride though. And after he's done with his genin team we start our honeymoon. We're going to some really old temple or something like that"

Kurenai, while not married, still was part of the discussion.

"A temple? I know I might have questioned his fashion sense before but-"

"What's wrong with his choice of clothes?"

"Well for one thing it's-"

Kurenai took a good look at what Allenby herself was in. Dark blue spandex, vest, belt; the only thing that really set the two apart were the color schemes.

"Never mind"

"Anyway, the temple is great place for us to go. We can train as much as we want and we'll be practically alone the whole time so that leaves plenty of opportunity for … you know"

Anko gulped down her dango. Allenby was only a few years younger than herself. The snake summoner felt her biological clock tick. Yuugao silently hoped that a certain swordsman would pop the question. Inoichi's wife giggled.

"If you want I could give you a few pointers, something to really knock his socks off?"

"I ah um… maybe"

"How about Love Pegasus? For that one you.."

The older woman leaned in close and whispered into the blue haired girl's ear. Allenby's face became progressively redder as the technique was explained. Choza's wife sighed.

"Corrupting the youth again I see. I swear you are incorrigable"

"It isn't corruption at all! A wife's ability to control her husband lies in how good she is in the sack"

"Or anywhere else. You control men with food"

"Sex!"

"Food!"

"Sex!!"

"Food!"

Yoshino slapped a palm to her forehead.

"Mendokusei"

aaaaaaaa

My own little G Gundam/Naruto crossover. X3


End file.
